Many people develop beliefs that lead to avoiding conflict in the short term, but create long term resentments and loss of self-respect. Beliefs that interfere with self respect include:
Some thoughts that might give a person the courage to act on their own behalf include:
- “saying no is selfish”
- “Making requests of others is self-centered”
- “It’s wrong (selfish, bad) if someone gets upset with me” and
- “I should sacrifice my needs to others”
- I can’ do it. I’m stupid. I’ll mess it up.
Some thoughts that might give a person the courage to act on their own behalf include:
- I have an obligation to stand up for what I believe is right.
- It is helpful to work out my differences with the people I love.
- Discussing and resolving differences can increase intimacy.
- My needs are as important as others.
- I have a right to assert myself, even if it may inconvenience others.
- I am under no obligation to say yes, simply because I am asked
- Saying no does not make me selfish.
- I can feel good about myself, even if someone is annoyed with me.