Regulating Emotions https://www.sunrisertc.com/abc-please-skills/
The DBT skill called ABC PLEASE is used to increase emotional resilience and decrease vulnerability to future unpleasant emotions. By accumulating positive experiences, building your skills and talents, and thinking ahead about how to cope, you’ll be more likely to bounce back quickly from a negative experience. PLEASE skills offer guidelines for staying in good physical health to help you bounce back from unpleasant emotions.
When you master the ABC skills, you’ll know the importance of positive experiences, be ready to increase your hobbies and talents, and understand how to prepare for difficult experiences beforehand.
When you master the ABC skills, you’ll know the importance of positive experiences, be ready to increase your hobbies and talents, and understand how to prepare for difficult experiences beforehand.
ACCUMULATING POSITIVE EXPERIENCES
We usually consider life to be going well when we have more positive experiences than negative experiences. Like a bank account, we need to put in more than we take out to be stable. When we have a high amount of positive experiences and then have a setback, we’re more likely to bounce back quickly. (Think: a $10 withdrawal out of an account with $1000.) Yet, when you have a setback after a week of layoffs, bad grades, and relationship woes, any small issue could feel catastrophic. (Think: a $10 withdrawal out of an account with $13.)
To have an effective bank account of positive experiences,
you need to participate in both short-term and long-term experiences.
you need to participate in both short-term and long-term experiences.
ACCUMULATING SHORT-TERM POSITIVE EXPERIENCES
A short-term positive experience is any activity you enjoy and can do regularly. These are simple activities such as calling a friend, spending time in the garden, or playing a game with your family. Most of us do these things occasionally, but their effects wear off quickly. Doing them more frequently—at least one thing daily—builds our resilience against negative emotions.
Be mindful of positive experiences
Have you ever been physically present for an event, but emotionally missed it because your mind was elsewhere? In order to truly enjoy an experience, you must be mindful of it. If you notice your attention starting to wander, or other thoughts begin creeping in, gently redirect your attention back to the activity at hand. In time, focusing on your enjoyable activity will become a habit.
Positive Experiences List
Including a variety of positive experiences into your life ensures that they’ll stick. Here are some suggestions of activities, whether or not you have energy to spare.
ACCUMULATING LONG-TERM POSITIVE EXPERIENCES
Long-term positive experiences are meaningful and lasting. These are the experiences—or the steps we take toward the experiences—that help us build a meaningful life. Long-term experiences could include graduating from college, traveling, a dream job, or having a healthy family. The long-term positive experiences that will be most important to you depends on what you value in life.
Values and Priorities
If you’re struggling to identify long-term goals that will bring you happiness, consider creating a list of your top values. A clear understanding of what you value in life can help you know what actions to take to honor those values. Be sure to prioritize your life around the things you value.
If you’re struggling to identify long-term goals that will bring you happiness, consider creating a list of your top values. A clear understanding of what you value in life can help you know what actions to take to honor those values. Be sure to prioritize your life around the things you value.
Taking Small Steps
Small steps toward big things can make a meaningful difference in our lives. Identify a goal and break it into feasible steps. These smaller tasks not only make the big goal seem more manageable, they are also daily reminders of what you’re working toward.
Small steps toward big things can make a meaningful difference in our lives. Identify a goal and break it into feasible steps. These smaller tasks not only make the big goal seem more manageable, they are also daily reminders of what you’re working toward.
Pay Attention to Relationships
Having plenty of healthy relationships is a key factor in our long-term happiness. Be sure to nurture your current relationships and look for opportunities to build new relationships.
Having plenty of healthy relationships is a key factor in our long-term happiness. Be sure to nurture your current relationships and look for opportunities to build new relationships.
Avoid Avoiding, Avoid Giving Up
When our stressors have piled up, we are more vulnerable to unwanted emotions. Prevent additional stress by tackling issues head on instead of ignoring or procrastinating them.
When our stressors have piled up, we are more vulnerable to unwanted emotions. Prevent additional stress by tackling issues head on instead of ignoring or procrastinating them.
BUILD MASTERY
Building mastery means learning and becoming proficient in new skills (and not just DBT skills). It encourages you to engage in hobbies and talents that you love to do. When you have a repertoire of activities that you enjoy and excel in, it builds your self-confidence and ensures that you feel capable and talented on a regular basis. You also have something to fall back on in times of boredom, anxiety, or depression. Though you may not want to in the moment, engaging in one of these activities can alleviate or eradicate the unwanted emotions.
Building mastery also means that you’re not planning for failure. Instead, you assume that you’ll be successful in each situation you’re placed in. As you gain more experience being successful in various situations, you’ll feel more confident in your ability to overcome unwanted emotions.
Building mastery also means that you’re not planning for failure. Instead, you assume that you’ll be successful in each situation you’re placed in. As you gain more experience being successful in various situations, you’ll feel more confident in your ability to overcome unwanted emotions.
COPE AHEAD
When you cope ahead, you prepare for events that you know are going to be difficult for you2. This could be a class or work presentation, a job interview, or an upcoming test. Prepare for that situation both mentally and emotionally and maybe even physically! What do you need to do to be the most prepared that you can be? How do you prepare in terms of regulating your emotions? What will help you feel more confident?
If you’re nervous about an upcoming job interview, you might prepare by researching common interview questions. You can take a mental walk through your work history and identify several impactful experiences to draw upon during the interview. Having this information ready to go will help alleviate anxiety when it’s time for your interview.
If you’re nervous about an upcoming job interview, you might prepare by researching common interview questions. You can take a mental walk through your work history and identify several impactful experiences to draw upon during the interview. Having this information ready to go will help alleviate anxiety when it’s time for your interview.